Friday, May 12, 2006

currently at marina derx lan sh0p bl0ggin. e rest 0f e ppl r plaein games.

had an 0utburst jux n0w at h0me wen ba0beix kalled. ii asked him g0 read mua bl0g. 0bvi0usly mua p0sts he dunn0 wats it abt c0s he hasnt read it ferr a l0ng tym. ii n0e ii hurt eu al0t al0t babyy, but dats wat iim feelin. iim 0nli askin eu tuh read wat ii feel. tuh understand e wr0ngs eu did n evriting. ii n0e at tymx iim at wr0ng. but all dese eu TOLD mie. eu n0e ii dun sae tingx 0ut. dats y ii TYPE. but eu din read. 0nli wen eu read, eu wil n0e. iim tired dese few daex dat eu dun even b0ther abt mie even wen iim sick. n0rt a kall, n0rt even a sms frm eu. weneva ii tried tuh kall eu, eu wil sae urr plaein game n kall mie back, urr bz eu kall mie back. waited n waited. nth. silence. ii hate tuh hear eu r s0rriex, tuh hear eu hate mie cry. but e reas0n ii cryy ishx c0s 0f eu. dere r mani w0rds inside mie, dat ii wish tuh find sum0ne tuh sae 0ut. but ii cant find ani. 0nli eu. eu wil lend mie a listenin ear n c0nsole mie. tellin mie hu ishx wr0ng, even if its mie, straight iint0 mua face. but, eu dun gimme ani chance. jux n0w wen ii burst 0ut, eu den ask y ii din tel eu. ishx c0s e past few daex urr 0wayyx plaein game. eu dun even b0ther tuh kip iin t0uch. eu ask mie y ii din g0 li0n dance. ytd wen ii tel eu ii wanna g0 eu sae iim sick. its danger0us. eu sae ii wan g0 g0. ii din g0. ii n0e if ii did eu wil b angry. n last nyyte ii reali feel lyk g0in 0ut wif mua sis dey all g0 drink. but eu dun all0w. n thus ii din sae aniting ii tel dem ii n0rt g0in. eu 0wayyx ask mie slp earli, n ii slept at 11pm last nyyte. all dis ii listen tuh eu. all ii did was ferr eu tuh listen tuh mie. but eu din. n 0wayyx disapp0int mie iin urr studies. ppl dun understand mie ii dun kare. but eu, ii nid urr understandin. haix. its all e past. ii dun wish tuh sae m0re again. jux h0pe we wil b0th try tuh make dis relati0nship a happier 0ne. c0s ii mishh e happi m0ments....

mua life, hasnt been a piece eva since ii started p0ly.
tingx happened, ppl distanced.
mie n d0do, we tried tuh cl0sen e distance.
but we b0th failed.
hav eu all eva th0t dat if we din try tuh 0rganise an 0utin, evri0ne 0f us wil distance?
ii n0w understand y d0do 0wayyx 0rganise til sh0 pek cek.
n ii n0w understand dat evriting arnd mie ishx changin.
eu sae ii hurt eu wif wat ii sae iin mua bl0g, but d0 eu n0e eu t0o, hurt mie wif wat eu sae?
ii`ve cried 0ver it n n0bodi n0es.
wen did ii dun wanna g0 0ut wif eu all?
wen did ii eva sae a n0 tuh all 0f eu?
n0 matter ii ken 0r n0rt, ii 0wayyx did mua best tuh acc all 0f eu 0ut.
n n0w, ii 0nli g0rt sae dat ii dun wanna g0 0ut wif eu all?
b it wh0eva hu kalled 0r sms, ii 0wayyx tried tuh g0.
even if its at nyyte 0r earli iin e m0rnin.
which 0utin did ii eva mishh?
which 0utin did ii g0 halfwae n sae ii nid mit 0ther ppl n jux g0?
since wen, wen eu all nid mua help, ii sae n0 n jux walk awae?
wen did ii threw mua temper at eu all even if iim fumin iinside?

ii finalli n0e h0w ppl tink 0f mie.
finalli ii realised h0w f0olise ii m, tuh d0 all dese tingx n ended up nth.
mayb iim jux st0opid tuh hav trust ppl t0o muchh.
tuh hav helped dem 0ut t0o muchh.

if 0nli sum0ne n0es....