Thursday, March 30, 2006

went 0ut wif d0do 0n e 27th 0f mar. her dad came mua hse dere fetch us g0 Tp 1st. den we g0 bugis 2gether after dat.

sh0p lyk hell! hahax. 0nli at bugis den we spent 4hrs?? ii b0ught 2t0ps n a watch. d0do b0ught 2t0ps, 2jeans n a watch. damn rich. hahax. den 8+ we went tuh far east. hehex. dere lyk m0re n m0re nth tuh sh0p lerx. nth new 0so. cant find e jacket dat ii wan. s0bs.

9+ we went back h0me. was sh0 tired all e wae. but had fun. hahax.

tml last dae lerx. n0rt even sad at all. =X felt sh0 relieved.

finalli!! DIS SAT KEN GO OUT LERX! sh0 l0ng din sat g0 0ut lerx. mishh e cr0wd. hmMmx. g0nna wear mua new cl0thes! din get a chance tuh wear it. wil take f0tox wif babyy ii tink?? s0rriex d0do ii cant g0 0ut wif eu all. 0ther dae kaex? since ii 0so st0p w0rk lerx shld hav mani daex free bahx. hahax. till ii find an0ther j0b.

wanna g0 0ut wif e rest 0f e gang 0ne dae, e 7dwarfs+evil queen n mani m0re ppl includin mua preci0us sis! hahax.

Friday, March 24, 2006

latest news: quittin e farkin j0b 0n 31 mar`o6.

farkin c0mpany! majiam evriting ishx mua fault. lyk ii ken predict if iim sick n0rt. ccb. sae evritin til sh0 ha0 ting lahx. but acheri ishx n0rt l0rx. fark.

eyes sw0llen n redden. c e d0c. gib eyedr0p. ken0t wear lens yet. haix. h0pe 5daex later wil 0kaex. if n0rt.. iim g0nna die. =X

p0ly tingy make til g0in finish lerx. shld b 0kaex. AP e p0ly service staff. knn. AP mie. iin e end stil sae y ii face black black gib her. fark.

n0rt a gd dae lahx. haix. ytd e earrins receive lerx den sp0il. s0bs.

di, din wanna send it 0ut tuh eu. but, ii had tuh let eu n0e. ii dun wanna kip it inside n let us drift even apart. even if it hurts b0th 0f us, ii wil stil sae it 0ut. tuh let us n0e, tuh change n impr0ve evritin. ii dunn0 y eu wil bcum lidat. its been tym ii din hav a nice t0k wif eu lerx. iim s0rriex ii din hav e tym tuh t0k tuh eu, tuh b dere ferr eu wen eu nid sum0ne. jux ferget evritin n change back kaex? ii dun wish tuh c anim0re 0f eu guys changin. ii dun wan c ppl changin. ii hate it.

Monday, March 20, 2006

n0 0ne knew wat happened last nyyte.

n0 0ne did.

n wat acheri happened iin e nyyte?

sh0utin.. quarrellins.. kickin 0f evritin.. thr0win 0f evritin.. includin his preci0us F0NE..

guilty. all ii felt was guilty.

mayb sadness t0o n anger.

but stil, guilt filled mie up.

e f0ne was sp0ilt iint0 tw0, all 0ur mem0riex, e vide0s 0f firew0rks, e msg, 0ur f0tox..

all g0ne iin a m0ment 0f f0lly.

hu ishx tuh blame? MiE.

ii f0rced him wif n0 wae 0ut.

y? y d0 ii bcum lidat?

hav ii changed c0s 0f he did??

wish simplyy. ferr a hug frm him.

but dere`s nthh left. he sae e ultimate hurtin w0rd.

n evritin ishx g0ne.. t0o fast.. t0o sudden..

mixed feelins. c0mplicated.

residents c0mplained. p0lice came. f0und us byy e staircase.

f0und 0ut wat happened. n t0ok 0ur names all dat d0wn.

its dat tym, wen dere r silence, t0tal silence.

went back h0me.

cryin was all ii did. cried helplessly.

it was 3am. ii wr0te a letter tuh mum tellin herr ii`ve g0ne 0ut.

3.3oam. ii t0ok a cab tuh his hse.

st0od 0utside. he came 0ut.

all ii did was cry n held him tyte.

din wanna l0se him.

ap0logise ferr evritin dat happened.

th0u it was t0o late.

y? y he din blame mie ferr wat ii`ve d0ne?

ferr h0w ii treated him??

felt sh0 safe iin his arms.

stayed at his hse e 2nd tym.

wanna tankx his sis ferr tellin mie h0w much he l0ved mie.

wanna tankx him.. ferr returnin back tuh mie..

tankx babyy.. xie xie nii ba0beix`la0gongx..

Friday, March 17, 2006

ha0 xiang zhii da0... nii derx yi baii fen hui geii zen yang derx ren..

mua hair kns lahx. preferr e 0ne b4. haix. ricky dye it lyk shyt. s0bs. he dyed 4c0lours-red(bleached), purple, dark br0wn n c0pper. but? 0nli e red ken c. e c0pper under sunlight den g0t. haix. purple ishx t0tally lyk black. c mua hair frm e fr0nt lyk ii dye black n 0nli highlight. yuckx. previ0us e c0pper n 0range betta. haix. wats d0ne ishx d0ne.

SUM ppl jux dun hav e manners. back facin ppl all dat. actin c0ol?? kns. jux e bl0ody n0 manners ppl..

hated ppl hu came iin n acted lyk a queen 0r king. use their feet tuh take e sh0es. lyk dey n0 hands lidat?? 0r bend d0wn abit wil sprain their back??? w0men tend tuh take e sh0es n thr0w it 0n e fl0or tuh try. wth??? n wen dere ishx 0nli left display pair dey c0mplain its n0rt iin gd c0ndition. but ask urself lahx. hu ishx e inc0nsiderate ppl hu did all dis tuh e sh0es?? sum even make e sh0es sp0il. damn it.

tuh b0ii...

t0k tingx 0ut tuh eu. dun tink eu wil understand h0w ii feel. eu sae eu d0, but iim n0rt sure.
s0rriex e trust iin eu ishx l0st. veh s0rriex.
c0s 0f 0ne incident, ii n0e eu regreted it.
but gainin back e trust nid tym, nid eu.
but eu din gimme tym, din stay byy mua side.
ii experience l0neliness ii neva experience b4.

eu werent dere. tuh gimme warmth wen ii nid it.
werent dere, tuh h0ld mua hands wen ii started fallin.
werent dere at nyte, tuh held mie iin urr arms n sae gd nyte.
werent dere, wen ii nid eu e m0st.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

babyy..
pls dun treat mie sh0 bad..
pls..

understand mie..

dyin 0f l0neliness......

urr 0wayyx full 0f excuses.. w0nder y..

cant u change back??

iim tired.. tired 0f eu n0rt understandin mie..
tired 0f eu thr0win temper at mie..
tired 0f eu n0rt karin ferr mie..

ii wan eu.. dats all ii ask..
ishx dat t0o muchh tuh ask ferr a lil m0re kare, c0ncern n l0ve?

l0st.. t0tally l0st.. with0ut eu tuh lead mie 0ut 0f urr hart..

its t0o c0mplicated iinside..

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

finalli 0ff tml!! g0nna dye mua hair 1oam at t0ny&guy. finalli! hahax. mitin celest g0 2getherr.

ba0beix, s0rriex ferr evriting dat had happened btw e tw0 0f us. iim tired 0f e quarrels, e w0rriex n e sadness. din wanna c eu angry t0o. mayb b0th 0f us nida change ferr each 0ther bahx. lets try 0ur best n change back tuh e beginnin wen b0th 0f us r happi 2getherr kaex? ii reali l0ve eu. dun wanna l0se eu... understand mie.. h0ld mie tyte b0ii, n tell mie h0w eu feel abt mie t0o. i reali wanna n0e. c0s iim l0st iin urr hart... wanna n0e e ans.. wanna get e key tuh urr hart..

Friday, March 10, 2006

last nyyte 9plus ii mit ba0beix, des, ben, kian hwee, elaine n shiming g0 PRP cycle. was 0kaex wif ba0beix lerx. 0nli he sae wil try tuh change back. fergib him.

had sh0 muchh fun. ii sit at ba0beix bicycle e handle bar. hahax. damn ci ji! reach hm abt 12plus.

t0dae supp0sed tuh mit ba0beix 0utside backgate. but he din g0 sch. n he was slpin lyk a pig! n0 matter h0w ii kall his f0ne 0so wun wake up. iin e end half an hr later den wake up. saw wei n e bytch. smile sh0 fake. smile but gimma e feelin inside veh bu shuang. might as well dun smile betta. dun act infr0nt 0f mie. knn. mit him at kian hwee hse d0wnstair. den n0w at his hse n0rhx.

g0in 0ut s0on. say0x!

Thursday, March 09, 2006

sick, sick n sick.

din g0 w0rk. kena sc0ld c0s 0f last min MC.

wtf? h0w ii n0e??

c d0c. luckily wasnt kidney pr0b. scare e hell 0ut 0f mie.

slept n had a nytemare. s0bs.

ba0beix came mua hse after sch.

quarrelled. n ii wanna g0 0ut he dun all0w mie tuh.

quarrel lyk hell. ii decided tuh end evriting.

his reply was sh0ckin. up tuh mie. he was tired.

he has changed. changin sl0wly. y??

wat had ii did wr0ng tuh hav caused e change iin him??

ii n0e he stil l0ve mie. 0nli e wae he treat mie ishx gettin c0ld.

he dun seems tuh kare, dun seems tuh w0rriex abt mie.

he admit it. ii tried tuh lie tuh muaself dat he`s stil e same. but ii cant.

he sae he had changed. dunn0 y wil change.

w0rld breakin d0wn, fallin apart.

realisin evriting arnd mie changes sh0 quickly ii cant accept it.

tears breakin d0wn. e l0ng-kept tears since e tym ii realised evriting had finalli turned unc0ntr0llable.

mind iin a mess. evriting in a mess. even mie, dunn0 hu ii m.

wil eu eva change back mua b0ii?? 0r d0 ii hav tuh accept e brand new eu n0w?

ii dun wan. c0s ii dun understand e eu n0w.

but d0 ii hav a ch0ice tuh ch0ose?? tuh make eu return back tuh mua side??

frenx, where r dey wen ii nid dem? dey hav change t0o.

if deyy diin.. den deyy dun kare anim0re.

evri0ne leads their 0wn life n0w, hu wil f0rk 0ut e tym tuh sh0w their c0ncern?

hu wil b0ther tuh kip iin t0uch??

g0in craziee.. evriting ishx craziee.. even mie.. n mua surr0undins.

ii wan e life back again.. reali wan it. dun wanna breakd0wn. preventin frm breakin d0wn. hard tym............... tuh cling 0n...................

Saturday, March 04, 2006

HAPPi BDAE Di Di VAN!! hahax.

thur 0ff. went 0ut wif ba0beix tuh bugis tuh make mua jeans n g0 sh0p awhile n0rhx. den g0 plaza watch m0vie.. `big m0mma`s hse 2`. great sh0w. farni n nice st0ryline. hahax. Y UNDERWORLD EVOLUTION 2 ISHX M18??!! w0nder if ba0beix buyy wil pass n0rt. hahax. but d0 ii luk 18?? hmMmx.

k0r g0in camp dis nxt fri lerx. heng ii g0rt mua 0ff dae 0n dat dae. m0rnin g0 send k0r g0 camp. heex.

ytd was e w0rse 0f mua life ii tink?? quarrelled e w0rse wif babyy. ii cried at w0rk ferr 1hr. kall yq n she c0nsole mie. tankx al0t ger. was hurt n blurred byy his acti0ns. din understand him at all. qi tried tuh xplain tuh mie y he did dat. but ii cant seems tuh accept evriting. ii wasnt iin a clear mind. all ii did was tuh cry n tink e negatives. after w0rk ii th0t ba0beix wil sms 0r kall mie 0r c0me n find mie. but he din. t0o upset wif evriting. decided n0rt tuh g0 h0me. stayed at central park all e wae til midnyte. tw0 guys appr0ached mie n ask ferr mua name. but ii jux ign0red dem n listen tuh mua s0ngs. heng dey walk awae. ba0beix f0und mie n tried tuh send mie h0me. but ii din wanna g0 back. sh0uted at central park n iin e end ii went back. was damn tired n ii slp n0rt l0ng after.

t0 eu-n0e-wh0: knn. jux leave him as far as eu ken lahx. farkin cb! smile ferr wat???!! wanna bewitched him wif urr smile???!! aniting d0 infr0nt 0f mie lahx dun d0 at mua back. eu dare eu d0! if n0rt jux fark 0ff n get 0ut 0f mua sight! dun tink urr PRETTI 0r wat. DAMN SHYT!! dun b sh0 arr0gant 0r pr0ud. makes mie wanna puke! dun tink urr c0ol. c0ol lyk shyt?? fark. dun eva get near him 0r get iin 0ur wae. get e msg?? ii hate eu!

jux n0w g0 bugis walk. saw junyang. wanna take f0to wif him but iin e end he walk awae lerx. sh0 ba0beix sae dun wan. n0w waitin ferr van kall den g0 d0wnstair mit dem g0 k. takairex guys.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

fark eu cb lahx. knn. ii neva gib??? ii put iinside their wallet but ii neva tell dem l0rx. c0s dey slpin n ii dun hav e chance tuh gib tuh dem pers0nally. 0f c0urse deyy din n0e aniting. all deyy n0e ishx their wallet suddenly p0p 0ut a few hundred d0llars n dats it! wld dey b0ther tuh ask hu gib??? N0!!!! all e tingx ii did ii din sae but all 0f eu accuse mie 0f evriting! hu n0es e tingx ii did??? g0d n0es. I LIE?? WHO ISHX E ONE HU LIED ALL E WAE?? DERE`S NTH II LIE TUH MUASELF. EU R E ONE HU LIED TUH US SAE EU GORT GIB DEM MONEY!! Y EU DUN LUFF AT URSELF FERR LYIN?? DAMN SHYT EU. ii g0rt save. ii lent frm tricia ishx c0s all mua m0ney ii kip new 0ne sh0 ii dun bear tuh use l0rx. sh0 ii take frm herr. at least ii DID tell her ii t0ok it n SHE ISHX E ONE HU SAE OKAEX! sh0 dun anih0w accuse mie 0f bein a thief OKAEX! n IF eu eva rmb.. e 1st pay ii g0rt ishx 0nli $3oo+. n eu insist ii treat all 0f eu g0 eat. its 0ver $1oo n h0w muchh ii left ferr e mth???? eu calculate ferr urr 0wn lahx. n e m0ney ii nid ferr e rest 0f e mth ii take frm mua pers0nal savins n e nxt pay ii g0rt ii had tuh put it back!!! n even th0u ii left 0nli abit ii stil gib e wh0le family m0ney includin eu n tricia! WTF. d0esnt all dis mean aniting!??? ii ken dun w0rk. but will ii b sh0 f0olish tuh d0 dat?? wil e family hav e m0ney tuh pay ferr mua tingx all dat??? NO! n h0rx.. eu dun tell mie sae eu din take frm dem lahx. even if sh0 eu neva gib dem m0ney eu shld at least save al0t 0n urr 0wn n dun hav tuh take frm dem wen eu start sch0olin l0rx. but eu dare sae eu neva take??? at least n0w all e tingx ii b0ught n wateva ii use mua hard earn m0ney. sh0 wats e pt eu kare?? eu sae eu neva anih0w spent urr m0ney den th0se few mths eu w0rkin where`s e m0ney g0ne??! SHYT EU LAHX. TRICIA CHU SHI DERX MONEY SHE OSO NOE HOW TUH GIB MUM DEYY ALL BUT DID EU?? I HAV RESPECT FERR OTHERS BUT NORT EU! COS EU DUN DESERVE ANI. ALL EU DID ISHX PUSH E BLAME TUH OTHERS! MUM N DAD`S HEALTH CONDITIONS HOW WLD II NOE?? NO ONE TOLD MIE WEN II GOT HOME. N EVEN IF II DID GO BACK EARLI, DEY OSO WUN SAE! EU NOE THEIR PATTERN. DEY WUN TELL US ABT ALL DIS TINGX!

evriting ishx mua fault lahx. eu r e BEST l0rx. fark. st0p luffin lyk a hyena! n st0p actin as if eu n0e evriting!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

simplyy ad0re him, mua b0ii.. he`s mua bel0ved n evriting..

jux came back frm w0rk. damn tired. m0ve e sh0es up tuh 0ur b0utique frm isetan. tml 0ff. sat ishx van didi bdae lerx. celebratin wif him after mua w0rk. ytd went tuh t0wn find d0do. she finish dyein hair. ii 0so ken dye fer free! hahax. at t0ni n guy. but mux wait e pers0n kall bahx. save m0ney if n0rt mux dye again 0so. =) den we g0 sh0p arnd l0rx. evenin tym she g0 k0rean less0n ii mit ba0beix at tm watch m0vie. went back gib daddy lecture. ba0beix has been saein mie 2dae c0s ii din xplain tuh dad wat happened all dat.

babyy.. s0rriex.. n0e eu kare. but eu n0e mie. ii rather kip quiet n take all e blame den tuh quarrel wif him. summ0re ishx late at nyyte. iim used tuh carryin all e blame lerx. th0u feel pressurised. but ii hav eu byy mua side. n dats enuff. reali enuff...

prisc.. dunn0 aniting dun anih0w sae lahx. knn! eu reali make mie damn angry. dun tink eu r 0lder den mie den ii hav tuh respect eu. fark. tink urr e queen 0f e hse?? tink eu n0e evriting abt mie?! wtf. wat e hell eu n0e? jux kip quiet n shut up. n0e h0w tuh sae mie. last tym eu w0rkin we kip sae eu eu g0t listen? ii w0rkin n0w ii stil g0t gib dem m0ney h0rx. even eu n tricia 0so g0t 0kaex. eu lehx???? wat e hell eu gib tuh dem wen urr w0rkin??? nth!!! stil bluff us sae eu g0rt gib dad n mum m0ney. shyt lahx! ii ask mum 0ready n she sae eu din even gib dem ani m0ney eva since eu started w0rkin l0rx. farkin hell. ii 0ni came back 11+ 12. dat tym eu w0rkin wat tym eu came back??? 2+am. n0e h0w tuh sae mie dunn0 h0w tuh sae urrself?? ask mie save m0ney fer p0ly. ii did save s0me. 0nli eu all dunn0. sh0 shut e crap up. dun act as if eu n0e evrting. lyk eu g0rt save m0ney ferr urr ite lidat. make mie wanna luff mua head 0ut. startin 0f sch 0nli take frm daddy dunn0 h0w much. stil take frm mie. tired 0f urr n0nsense lahx. dun evritym n0rt happi wif mie den take mua bf 0ut n sae 0kaex?!!! even if ii g0 back earli evri0ne wil b slpin l0rx. evri0ne slp sh0 earli except tricia. h0w tuh ask 0r t0k tuh dem? tink dun nid tym tuh take bus all dat h0me? n0 nid eat wen iim hungry???? eu all sae ii g0 0ut late. but wat abt mua frenx? dun ii nida c0ntact wif dem?? neva mit dem sae ii change. g0 back 0so lidat. n0 tym mit bf 0so lidat. dere`s 0nli 1mie n sh0 mani 0f eu. h0w d0 eu expect mie tuh separate mua tym???? iim n0rt evriting. even th0u ii din g0 d0wn c j0ey, ii stil ask arnd tuh n0e wats g0in 0n wif herr l0rx. sae ii neva g0 d0wn. eu ask irene lahx. where g0t tym tuh g0 d0wn?? dey full-tym 1week 2 dae 0ff lehx. ii part-tym nid c0ver their shift 1 wh0le week w0rk full 0nli 0ff 1dae lehx. h0w ii get e tym tuh d0 sh0 mani tingx? use urr brain n tink lahx. ii g0 h0me earli eu all nag. evri0ne naggin at mie. lyk evriting mua fault. but hav eu all w0ndered y ii dun wanna g0 h0me earli n rather let muaself b tired?? ishx c0s dis h0me ishx n0rt a h0me tuh mie! eva since ii w0rk ii g0 back earli ishx listen tuh mum nag n mum questi0nin. if n0rt ishx quarrel wif all 0f eu, blamin mie dis n dat. wats e pt?? might as well g0 back late n prevent all dis. wen iim reali d0wn 0r wat hu reali help mie? its n0rt eu all. ishx all mua frenx n bf. wen ii cried after ii quarrel wif eu e 0ther tym hu ishx dere tuh c0nsole?? tricia sae mie cryin n jux walk 0ut e r0om. ishx zha0 hu c0nsole mie n evriting. wen iim w0rkin sh0 tired n fed up hu n0es? 0nli him. hu iin dis family eva ask mie abt mua w0rk?? n0 0ne! sh0 n0w eu expect mie tuh g0 arnd n ask dem wats g0in 0n? d0 ii hav e energy? w0rk til dun feel lyk w0rkin but hav tuh... but hu n0es?? eu all gib up h0pe 0n mie. ii 0so hav given up h0pe 0n dis family. mua resp0nsiblity ferr w0rkin ishx tuh brin inc0me tuh e family. but hav eu eva th0t dat after gibin all 0f eu m0ney ii dun hav much left? ii dun even take a cent frm e family n0w. ask urself.. dat tym wen eu w0rk h0w much eu take? eu tink 0utside eat sh0 cheap?? 1dae ken spent 0ver $1o jux 0n f0od lehx. n transp0rt lehx? even if ii buy tingx 0so ferr p0ly all dat. eu tink ii buyy zha0 neva sc0ld?? dis few daex ii at w0rk been eatin maggie mee hu n0es?? jux tuh save e farkin m0ney up. sh0 dat eu all wun sae ii anih0w spent.

wateva lahx. sae sh0 muchh 0so n0 use. t0o tired 0f evriting. evri0ne wans mie tuh put muaself iin their sh0es. but hu e hell wil put demselves iin mua sh0es? dey r human beins. but m ii n0rt??