Wednesday, May 25, 2005

ii hurt him.. hurt him t0 e c0re.. y didnt ii th0t 0f his feelins? y did ii d0 tingx e wae ii wanna d0 it? ii made him l0se evriting.. he had l0se his frenx c0s 0f miex.. n n0w.. ii still let g0 0f him.. ii made him cry.. ii feel sh0 terrible.. last nyte he waited 0utside m0ii hse at e staircase e wh0le nyte.. 11+pm he was dere.. 1+am ii went 0ut.. ii ask him t0 g0.. ken c dat he has been tryin t0 kip back his tearx.. but ii cant kip mine.. ii burst 0ut cryin.. n he was e 0ne hu c0ns0le mie.. im e 0ne hu hurt him.. make him till lidat.. yet.. he still put up a str0ng fr0nt instead.. his eyes was red.. haix.. s0bx.. 2+am he finalli went h0me.. he went t0 read m0ii bl0g n her bl0g.. den he sae he g0in 0ut again... dun wanna stay at h0me.. ii was sh0 idi0tic.. ii acheri fell asleep!! ii nvr reply him.. 0nli till m0rnin 6+am m0ii mum c0me int0 m0ii r0om n sae he was 0utside.. ii was sh0cked.. mum ask him c0me int0 e hse.. n gib him a cup 0f c0ffee.. y he sh0 f0olish??? it was rainin heavily last nyte.. d0esnt he n0e he will catch a c0ld???? d0esnt he n0e it was c0ld??? ii felt sh0 guilty.. he nvr slp.. mayb d0ze 0ff awhile.. but wen ii c his eyes.. it was red n puffy.. e tired luk 0n his face tells mie evriting.. he cried.. n tink 0f dis ting e wh0le nyte.. but wen ii ask him.. he sae he wasnt tired.. haix.. he was sh0 f0olish.. nvr met sum0ne sh0 f0olish b4.. iim n0t w0rth wat he did.. iim n0t w0rth all his tearx.. ishx c0s 0f mie den all dis tingx happen.. but he kip blamin himself.. haix.. mum went t0 w0rk.. n ii ask him t0 lie 0n m0ii bed.. ask him t0 slp.. ii sms nu er.. n she rush t0 m0ii hse immediately.. iim s0rriex t0 tr0uble her.. haix.. she listen t0 mie.. n cheer us up.. but wen he was awae.. ii burst int0 tearx again.. nu er sae y ii let him g0.. y ii kare abt 0ther tings.. but ii ken0t dun kare.. all r m0ii frenx.. n r veri gd frenx.. ii ken0t dun kare abt dem.. if ii had t0 ch0ose.. ii rather let g0 0f evriting.. n let tingx b lyk last tym.. ii rather we b frenx.. betta den all 0f us l0se 0ur frenx.. e 0nes dearest t0 us.. haix.. he ask mie.. ken he ferget wat ii sae last nyte n pretend ii nvr sae dat b4.. ii sae n0.. ii ken c he was hurt.. but ii had n0 ch0ice.. priscilla jie sc0lded mie.. she sae ii veri zek ark.. yahx.. ii was.. ii was cruel.. c0s if ii nvr did dat.. wat will tingx turn 0ut t0? ii wun dare t0 c e 0utc0me.. if ii let g0 n0w.. tingx still ken b save.. his frenx still ken b back t0 him.. dis ishx e endin ii wan.. n0b0di l0se aniting.. ii dunn0 wat t0 sae.. iim tired.. slp ferr 3hrs till n0w.. jux n0w slp awhile 0nli.. he even w0rse.. but ii ask him t0 slp he dun wan.. haix.. veri s0rriex t0 evri0ne ii hurt..

t0 u:im s0rriex.. u ask mie t0 g0 back t0 him.. but ii cant d0 dat.. u had urr 0wn pr0bs.. but ii still add t0 urr pr0bs.. iim sh0 stupid.. 0wayx create pr0bs ferr u.. if ii kip a distance frm him.. tingx will n0t turn 0ut lyk dis.. e 3 0f us r as n0rmal e past weeks.. but n0w.. tingx r back again.. n its c0s 0f mie.. dun feel guilty.. c0s its n0t urr fault.. wat u wish t0 n0e.. ask mie.. c0s ii dunn0 wat u still wanna n0e.. ii dunn0 ii had ferget aniting n0t.. iim sh0 c0nfused ii cant tink.. all e tingx.. didi tingx.. ii 0so t0ld u lerx.. haix.. as ferr urr family.. she will b 0kaex derx.. mux trust her.. ii believe tingx will b 0ryte.. u mux stay str0ng ferr her.. spent m0re tym wif her.. let her feel dat u hav 0ready gr0wn up.. n she d0es n0t hav t0 w0rriex anim0re.. aniting happens iim still here.. h0pe u dun kip evriting t0 urself lyk n0w.. last tym u 0wayx sae urr dere ferr mie.. n0w.. its m0ii turn t0 sae.. iim 0wayx here ferr u.. sh0 dun gib up h0pe 0n aniting.. take l0ads 0f kare..