Friday, December 31, 2004

happi bdae mei!! finalli turn 14 lerx.. l0lx.. 2dae wake up.. henry sms mie.. haix.. he c0s 0f mie nvr slp.. feel sh0 bad.. den d0 e puzzle.. damn difficult t0 d0.. but n0thin t0 d0 mahx.. s0 d0 l0rx.. after dat went t0 ko0n’s hse.. den she teach mie t0 d0 dis bl0g.. hahax.. she damn pr0 l0rx.. evritin 0s0 n0e.. dunn0 wan 0s0 bcum n0e.. hmMmx.. n0thin much lahx t0dae.. well.. late lerx.. dis few weeks been slpin at 3+am if n0t ishx 4+am.. veri veri tired.. tml g0in c0untd0wn again!!!!!! sh0 happi.. l0lx.. n d0reen finalli ken t0n lerx!!!!!! n h0rx.. tml ishx g0 wif SBU gang!!!!!! hehex.. veri happi.. but h0rx.. still veri sad.. =( i dunn0 y i n0w still kip tinkin abt him.. i reali wish ken g0 c0untd0wn wif him.. haix.. but i n0e its imp0ssible.. he sae we still ken b veri gd frenx.. but i dun tink sh0.. if we reali ken.. y r we n0w m0re lyk strangers?????? if i n0e dis ishx e endin ryte frm e beginnin.. i w0uld rather b ur fren.. at least i ken stand by ur side anitym.. n b dere f0r u weneva u nid mie.. i w0uld rather n0t b sum0ne hu was 0nce imp0rtant t0 u.. n0w.. we r lyk strangers.. walkin past each 0ther pretendin we dunn0.. y y y????? y n0 matter wat i d0 u still kip appearin in m0i mind??? n0 matter h0w i still mish u??? i tried n tried.. i n0e all dis ishx n0t w0rth it.. but i still cant st0p m0i hart frm lurvin u.. i wanna hate u.. but i cant.. i reali cant.. i wish u will n0e e hurt u hav caused in mie.. i mish e daex wif u i reali mish.. boi.. where r u.............

` - . + harrtbr0kenn ger + . - ` [ * x · brrokenn tearrx frrm m0ii eyes · x * ]

Thursday, December 30, 2004

dis few daex kinda busy.. been g0in 0ut.. if n0t ishx stay at h0me t0 watch ‘w0 he jiang shi y0u ge yue hui 3’.. hmMmx.. yest went t0 watch kungfu.. its a nice n farni sh0w.. w0rth watchin.. hahax.. but its damn lame l0rx.. l0lx.. will luff till st0mach pain 0ne.. hahax.. den went arnd t0 sh0p den g0 h0me lerx.. century n tamp mall n0thin t0 sh0p 0ne.. s’p0re sh0 small.. sh0 little place t0 g0.. den last nite watch ‘w0 he jiang shi y0u ge yue hui 3’.. till kinda late.. den ivan kall i reject his kall.. den use hse f0ne kall him back.. reply henry sms t0o.. haix.. was kinda sh0cked dat henry was downstair m0i hse.. den ask him he find mie izzit.. he sae n0thin.. jux downstair c0s dats e last tym where he sent mie h0me.. im s0rri.. but i ken0t accept u n return t0 u.. i cant bluff m0iself dat i dun lyk ‘him’.. last tym i ren sh0 much.. u vent ur anger at mie all dat i 0s0 take it lerx.. in e end u still leave mie.. den n0w.. wen i m0ve 0n 0readi.. u den regret wat u did.. but i dun blame u.. c0s at least u realise ur mistake.. but n0w.. m0i hart ishx wif ‘him’.. i dun wanna b back by ur side lerx.. c0s im scared e hist0ry might repeat again.. i n0e i lidat sae veri unfair t0 u.. im s0rri.. veri s0rri... haix.. im veri t0uched wif wat u sae.. reali veri t0uched.. c0s its e first tym sum0ne eva t0ld mie dat.. but deep in m0i hart.. i wish it was ‘him’ hu tell mie all dis.. h0pe we r still frenx.. n last 0f all.. im veri veri sorri..

t0dae sh0 earli wake up.. 11+am m0i sis came int0 m0i r0om n kp 0readi.. c0s we g0in t0 brin 0ur parents 0ut t0 buy their new yr cl0thes.. went t0 chinat0wn.. well.. damn b0rin.. l0lx.. but b0 bian.. brin dem g0 0rchard dis kind 0f area dey dun lyk.. hmMmx.. n we kip 0n eatin!! m0i dad ishx lidat.. dunn0 y evritym g0 0ut wif him sure eat eat eat 0ne.. l0lx.. den tink al0t al0t abt e past.. mani mem0riex came back int0 m0i head.. i feel veri pain inside.. but i nvr cry.. c0s i cant cry infr0nt 0f m0i parents.. n im veri tired 0f cryin lerx.. sumtymx i reali cry till n0 tearx.. but cryin ishx m0i 0nli way 0f releasin m0i sadness.. haix.. mish ‘him’ as usual.. t0ld k0on.. n im veri s0rri.. but i disapp0int her.. i n0e she wan mie t0 f0rget ‘him’.. but evritym i 0nli n0e h0w t0 disapp0int her.. haix.. she wei lerx w0 fu chu s0 much.. w0rri sh0 much.. pray f0r mie.. listen t0 mie.. c mie cry.. evritym im sad she will b e first t0 gimme a helpin hand.. in e end.... i feel damn useless.. reali veri useless.. evritym i disapp0int her i feel s0 helpless inside 0f mie.. but all i ken sae ishx s0rri.. i n0e she wanna c mie m0vin 0n.. n0t 0waex tellin her s0rri.. but.. i reali cant m0ve 0n.. even if sum0ne ishx betta dan ‘him’ mani tymx.. ‘he’ ishx still in m0i hart.. i wish ‘he’ has nvr leave.. evritym i hav been tinkin.. y d0es he hurt mie sh0 much but he still ken live life sh0 happily? while im endurin his pain? i n0e he ishx n0t w0rth wat i did.. all dis i n0e.. but u ppl n0e mie.. 0nce im in dis situati0n.. i will gib in all i ken.. even if dere ishx n0 return frm him.. i hate moiself.. i reali hate moiself!!! i reali wish t0 jux jump d0wn frm e buildin n end all dis.. but sumtin ishx preventin mie frm d0in it.. i dun wan m0i family n frenx t0 suffer frm e pain dat i cause t0 dem.. im in a darkness.. hu ken lead mie 0ut 0f here? n im cryin.. hu ken wipe awae e tearx dat has fallen frm m0i eyes? e pers0n hu ken st0p mie frm cryin n lead mie 0ut 0f darkness.. ishx e pers0n hu ishx makin mie cry n leavin mie in darkness.............

` - . + harrtbr0kenn ger + . - ` [ * × · m0ii harrt iishhx takenn by u n brrokenn by u · × * ]

Monday, December 27, 2004

yest went 0ut wif my c0usin n priscilla t0 0rchard again.. hahax.. we went dere t0 luk f0r cl0thes.. n i buy a bag f0r sch de.. hmMmx.. den g0 sh0p arnd.. hahax.. 10+pm den leave dere.. arnd 11.30pm den reach h0me.. after dat watch ‘w0 he jiang shi y0u ge yue hui 3’.. ivan kalled den t0k t0 him.. he dunn0 y damn hyper l0rx.. den we kip t0kin abt gerx tingx.. hahax.. he bcum m0re n m0re bian tai lerx.. 0s0 kip him as my gan di.. but i hav t0 kall him k0r.. =X c0s he reali luk 0lder dan mi.. hmMmx.. t0k till 4am den g0 slp.. [prisc jie] yest n00n s0rri t0 shc0cked u.. i w0ke up den listen t0 s0ngs.. den th0t 0f him again.. e mem0riex jux fl00d my mind.. den i cry again.. u came int0 my r00m n i ken c u kinda shocked wen u c mi cry.. but i jux kip back e tears.. i 0s0 dun wanna cry infr0nt 0f u.. i dun wan u all t0 w0rri.. haix.. im s0rri.. i n0e i veri useless.. evritym get hurt by ppl i luv.. but u all n0e mi de.. n i n0e u all understand.. wen cum t0 relati0nship my hart is damn s0ft.. =‘( im tryin t0 gib him up lerx.. but it d0esnt seems t0 w0rk.. y m i 0wayx e 0ne waitin f0r sum0ne?? y ppl wun wait f0r mi?? haix.. last tym gt des.. he treat mi s0 gd.. but c0s i dun hav feelins f0r him.. i reject him.. n0w.. i w0uld rather ch00se sum0ne hu luv mi den t0 ch00se sum0ne hu will hurt mi.. c0s i hate t0 try n try n try.. but n0 matter h0w hard i tried.. wat i d0.. dere dun seem t0 hav ani wae 0ut....
juz wake up 0nli.. well.. n0t feelin veri well.. eyes damn pain.. guess f0r mani weeks slp at arnd 4am den wake up veri earli.. n0t enuff slp.. 0s0 cry al0t.. h0pe my eyes ken take it.. cant seem t0 get him 0ut 0f my mind.. i guess.. f0r e sec0nd tym.. im stucked again.. + i n0e a milli0n w0rds w0uld n0t brin u back.. i n0e c0s i’ve tried.. neither w0uld a milli0n tears.. i n0e c0s i’ve cried + u t0ld mi dat u l0ved mi.. y did i hav t0 b s0 stupid n believe? i was s0 afraid 0f luv.. but u pr0mised urs w0uld b true.. i t0ok e chance n gave my hart t0 u.. sh0uld hav n0e jux lyk e 0thers.. u w0uld hav br0ken it int0 tw0..
` - . + harrtbr0kenn ger + . - ` [ * × · fU cHu Ye Ke NeNg KaN bU dAo JiE gUo.ZhOnG yU nI hAi ShI xUaN zE Le FaNg ShOu · × * ]